Ten Films People Will Judge You For Not Watching and Whether They're Actually Worth It
So Love Island is over and I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life now, so I’m having to turn to my ever-growing list of films to watch. This is in the notes of my phone, and almost always prompted by the same conversation:
Friend: Ooh, so you know that bit in [insert film here] where....
Me: Uh, no, I’ve never actually seen [insert film here]
Friend: Wait, what? What the hell? What’s wrong with you?
...Or some variation of that.
Now the thing is, most of these films have been on the list since I was about 15, and there’s a reason I haven’t seen them, and it’s because quite frankly I don’t care. I’m not a monster, I sat through Mama Mia and hated it, and have caught glimpses of a bunch of Marvel films on the TV at Christmas and honestly they all look the same.
But here’s ten films that people will judge you for not watching, and whether they’re actually worth it.
1. The Lion King
So, the reason I feel guilty about not having seen this film is because I, like everyone, will be throwing my hands in the air and belting out the Circle of Life at midnight in Cindies. But that’s the only reason I feel bad for not watching it. The thing is, the Lion King is based on Hamlet, and if you were to mock someone for never having watched Hamlet, people would call you a snob. So why is the Lion King any different?
Incidentally, I have watched Hamlet. It was too long and I don’t think big cats would have made it better.
2. The Incredibles
Okay, so this is one I’ve had to take back my opinion on. I never could be bothered to sit down myself and watch it because to me, it looked like it would probably be a cross between a cartoon and a superhero movie, taking the worst parts of both. Boy was I wrong. With the second film coming out, my friends sat me down last night and made me watch it...and it turns out it’s incredible (shocker). It was really freaking funny, and heartwarming, and everything that a good movie should be. Was it predictable? Yes. Did I care? No. Will I be going to watch the sequel in cinemas? DUH.
All those who have struggled through a term at uni can relate.
So I was quite late to the game with Titanic, because the fact that as a kid everyone was shook I hadn’t seen it made me want to not see it. I actually ended up watching it in 3D when it was re-released in cinemas in 2012, and I was like ‘meh, this is okay’, while a friend was uncontrollably sobbing next to me. But this is a film that, like fine wine, gets better with age. (My age, that is, not the film’s). The cinematography is great, the music is great, the acting is great. And man, did I under-appreciate how cute Leonardo DiCaprio used to be.
They just don't make 22 year olds this cute anymore.
4. Harry Potter
Of course I’ve seen the Harry Potter films, I haven’t been living in a cupboard under the stairs for 20 years. The Philosopher’s Stone is the first film I can remember owning on VCR, and it got me into the books, which eventually became a lifelong obsession. I can remember the Chamber of Secrets being the first thing I ever saw in a cinema, and I remember my video copy of it getting the tape scratched and all the voices sounding really weird - my mum said everyone sounded like a Dalek, and I didn’t know what that was because it was before Doctor Who was back on TV.
However, when I was bored recently, I rewatched the first couple of films and...well, aside from the nostalgia of them, they’re actually a bit shit really? The adult acting is okay, but not mind-blowing considering the cast they’ve got, and the kids’ acting is grating at best. EMMA WATSON CAN’T ACT. There, I said it. She only seems to know how to express herself using her eyebrows, and her voice absolutely does my head in. She’s not Hermione Granger, and never will be. If you think otherwise, your opinion is wrong. Deal with it.
Fuck off Hermione.
5. The Carry On Films
Bit of a rogue one here, but I had a conversation with a friend recently and they’ve never seen a single Carry On Film. I was APPALLED. I remember back before TV on Demand when Carry On Films were the only thing on in summer, and you’d sit and watch them back to back on ITV2 every day for a week. In my head, this is what everyone did, but apparently not.
My face when someone says they've never heard of Carry On.
6. Wizard of Oz
Seen it. Not worth it.
Sod off back to Kansas Dorothy.
7. James Bond
Not seen any of them. Are they worth it?
8. The Great Gatsby
It has its faults but actually a really freaking good film, as literary adaptations go.
9. Romeo + Juliet
Did I mention how much I love young Leonardo DiCaprio?
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight. For I never saw true beauty until I watched Leo DC in his 1990s era.
10. Star Wars
Okay, I was actually quite proud for 20 years to say I’d never seen Star Wars. And then a friend made me watch The Phantom Menace. It’s not very good, is it? Apparently, despite this being ‘Episode 1’, it’s not the one I should have started with. You know what, I can’t be bothered.
With love being in the air last week, we thought it would be right to acknowledge our big fish clubbers of the week… Read more...