FRESHERS WEEK BUCKET LIST

You’ve made it! You got the grades, you’re packed and ready to go, and now you’ve just got to work out - what the hell do I do in this make-or-break week called Freshers?

1. REINVENT YOURSELF
So this is like the one time you’ll have in life to do this. You’re escaping the dork you were in Sixth Form, and you have a chance now to be truly cool. Delete all your old friends off Facebook, delete all the awkward pictures from when you were 14 and had multi-coloured braces that you thought looked cool at the time, and change your cover photo to that one time you went clubbing this summer. Sorted.

 

2. DECORATE YOUR NEW ROOM (aka reinvent yourself part 2)
Somehow this always involved houseplants and a trip to the home section of Urban Outfitters. Pastel colours, candles and fairy lights, and everyone will think you’re the most zen bitch on the staircase (that is until you have a breakdown over burning toast in Week 5).

Bonus points for inspiring quotes on cushion covers.

 

3. AVOID FRESHERS FLU
Seriously, you don’t want to be struck down early and be snuffling in your new UO duvet while all your newfound Freshers friends are going out every night. Hand sanitiser all the way, don’t touch people, and try not to breathe when you go to Ballare.

 

4. FRESHERS FAIR.
You’ll probably be radically hungover, trailing around with the semi-friendship group you’ve formed based on living on the same corridor, and this is your chance to meet fun new people with the same interests as you, while also trying to avoid signing up for anything embarrassing (God forbid your new mates find out you were a high school Tiddlywinks champion). When the first society grabs you and asks you to sign their mailing list, you’ll smile politely and scribble down the email address you half-remember from your freshers pack. By the tenth table you’re making up someone else’s email address to write down. By the time you’ve been there an hour and someone asks if you’re interested in Investment Banking and Financial Management you’ll scream in their face NO I COULDN’T CARE LESS. Then you notice all your new friends are signing up, so you do too so you’re not left out. The society will still be emailing you in third year when you’ve forgotten who you were going round with in Freshers.

 

5. JOIN THE GYM
You’ll never actually go, but the thought’s there.

 

6. SIGN UP TO YOUR LOCAL GP
Or, more accurately, write a post it note reminding yourself to do this and forget about it. You’ll find it stuck to the bottom of a shoe in the first week of December.

PROTIP: there's a GP surgery in Boots right next to the pharmacy and it's SO convenient. 

 

7. GO TO THURSDAY LOLAS
The one night where you can always guarantee a good time, with 3 floors and cheap drinks on all of them. Bonus points if you’re still drunk in time for your 9am lecture on Friday.

 

8. GO TO VAN OF LIFE / VAN OF DEATH / GARDIES
Pick one of these to go to after your first night out in Freshers’ Week. Arbitrarily decide that the cheesy chips from your selected institution are the best cheesy chips you’ve ever had, and argue with any friend that tries to go to any other eatery for the next three years of your degree. At some point in exam week of third year, decide to have cheesy chips sober when you cba to do anything else. Realise that they are in fact absolutely disgusting.

 

9. GET LOST
You’ll be cycling happily through town, thinking you’re on the way to the library. You’re not. You see a sign that says GIRTON, ¼ MILE. You’ve fucked up.

It might be pretty but I still don't want to go there. 

 

10. MAKE FRIENDS
This is the cheesy one, but you know you gotta. This is the chance for you to meet people you’ll be friends with for the next 3 years, if not longer, so be your best self, buy a round of Jaegarbombs as soon as you get to LKD, and remember to ask people’s names because it gets super awkward when they ask you to put them on the guestlist next week and you still don’t know who they are.