The Big Fish Guide to Term

So you’re done with freshers week. Those wild nights of reckless abandon, dancing till dawn on a VK-fuelled quest to make friends and have fun? They’re gone. In their place, a meaningless, dry well of existence. Good luck.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have made a huge success of freshers week and will be calmly sailing through term now surrounded by friends who cherish and support you. If you’re just like us mere mortals you’ll be stumbling through and looking for some worldly wisdom from other sources. Here it is.

1. Your supervisor actually can’t tell if you’ve read the book. Wikipedia is fine, trust me.

2. All nighters aren’t worth it. Unless they’re for something fun, in which case go for it.

3. Join some societies! Sure you might’ve made tentative pals with someone on your corridor, but actually you’re more likely to click with someone who shares the same interests as you so dig out those flyers that have been in the bottom of your bag since Freshers Fair and sign up to those mailing lists.

4. Lectures don’t count if they’re before 9am. You don’t want to be there. Your lecturer doesn’t want you to be there. The only person who wants you to be there is your DoS, and he’s still in bed. In which case...

5. Go out as much as you want! There’s no point sitting sadly reading Descartes at midnight, live a little. With 3 VKs for £4.50 at Cindies on a Tuesday there is literally nothing to lose. Except for your dignity, but I don’t think you had much of that anyway, did you?