Love Island Girls as the Gals you Meet on a Night Out
So last week we saw the Island boys as the lads you meet on a nightout. Now, here come the girls.
Dani’s the girl you see in the loo who tells you (kindly) that you’ve got lipstick on your teeth, lends you a tampon, and is your best friend after a ten minute chat.
G is the nation’s sweetheart right now -- wait, okay, I wrote that line a week ago, never mind.
You know she’ll be the one hugging you in the smoking area and giving you a pep talk when you’ve been mugged off by the guy you’re grafting (even if the reason you got mugged off in the first place is because she kissed him). She’s also the girl who always accidentally whips you in the face with her ponytail when dancing, and you find kind of annoying sometimes, but you can’t help but love her anyway.
She’s that girl who seems nice enough but is too old to be here. She’s not like, too old in general, just too old for this. Also she keeps having psychotic breaks and yelling at people for no reason. It’s a bit scary to be honest. Lends you her shoes and gets mad at you for wearing them. One time a guy said he didn’t really fancy her and she burst into tears on the dance floor. It was a bit awkward.
My housemate described this outfit as 'mutton dressed as baby sheep'. I don't think that's the saying, but the sentiment is there.
She’s busting mad shapes and gave you good chat on the way here, but it seems like she pulls a face every time she turns away from her. Is she a snake? Scientists are unsure.
Her boyfriend got kicked out by the bouncers ten minutes ago, and she seems really upset about it but in a ‘please give me attention’ kind of way, not in a ‘I’m going to go follow him’ kind of way.
Darylle - or is it Darelle?
Your mate asked if he could bring his new girlfriend to pres - it was meant to be a group thing but everyone was too nice to say no. She’s not said anything all night, and seems to think that having tattoos is a decent substitute for having a personality. In the morning you’ll be like ‘oh my god, remember Darylle?’, and the answer will be ‘who?’
She's not sure who she is either. Zara maybe?
Those girls that you keep running into who think you’re friends with them but really they’re just annoying, and you know they’re talking about you behind your back. I really don’t have anything else to say about these two.
Your friend’s coursemate’s girlfriend’s sister’s friend? Maybe? You can’t even remember what she looks like, but you think you had a quick chat in the queue.
Shit, wrong blonde.
Zara and Rosie
Those girls who are way way overdressed for Friday Life.
Or underdressed in some cases...
You can’t quite remember what happened to Kendall, but she turned up at pres and never made it out.
Meg told you it was girls night and that she wasn’t going to get with anyone this time, she promises. You’re two tiki cocktails down when you see her disappearing out the back with that fit guy who does philosophy at Kings, but half an hour later she’s back and getting with someone else. Panics when multiple people come on to her, and secretly likes how loud the music is because it hides her shit chat.
That girl who looks a bit like a young Barbara Windsor. Doesn’t talk to anyone and seems surprised when no one invites her back with them.
Okay maybe that one’s a little too specific but HONESTLY. In Love Island, much like in Cindies, it’s go hard or go home. Or be like Adam, and do both.
With love being in the air last week, we thought it would be right to acknowledge our big fish clubbers of the week… Read more...