Cambridge’s leading purveyor of quality entertainment.
Do you believe in reincarnation? That once we die, our souls will scour the earth in search of a new body that it may call home?
It is said that if we lived a benevolent life we may move up in the world, to be born into wealth, security, and privilege. However, if our previous existence was a wicked one – one that caused suffering and misery to the world around us – we should not be so lucky.
Would it be possible to be reincarnated as a dog? Would it be possible to be reincarnated as one of the floors of Cambridge Lola Lo’s? It’s not for me to say. Imagine spending an entire lifetime as the very floorboards of one story of the venue that hosts Let’s Kill Disco, the only place to be in Cambridge on Thursday nights. It’s certainly something to consider when trying to balance your karma.
But which floor of the club would I be – or would I be a dog – I hear you cry? Look no further! For in today’s edition of the Big Fish Ents blog, I’ve written a rigorous and exciting quiz to help you get to the bottom of this once and for all: which floor of Cambridge Lola Lo’ are you, or are you in fact a dog?
Q1) What is your biggest vice?
d. Tennis Balls
Q2) How would your friends describe you?
a. I don’t have friends
Q3) How would you spend a perfect Sunday?
a. Crying, alone
b. Anywhere I can smoke
d. I have no concept of days of the week
Q4) How do you think you will die?
a. Of loneliness
b. Lung cancer
c. Cardiac arrest at a rave
d. Eating chocolate
Q5) What’s your favourite swimming stroke?
a. Breaststroke, for it has a longstanding association with losers
b. Front crawl
d. Doggy paddle
Q6) What would you rather spread on your toast?
a. Wait, I don’t get how this is relevant – I thought this quiz was about nightclub floors?
b. Cigarette butts
d. Peanut butter
Q7) Do you want to go for a walk?
a. You want to spend time with me?! Really?! I mean – yeah, sure. Sounds cool.
b. Yeah let me roll a cigarette first
c. I can’t, I’m too busy dancing
d. OMG Yes!
Q8) What is your favourite dance move?
a. That awkward head bop whilst staring at a fixed point/person in the room
b. The Malboro Macarena
c. Them all
d. Chasing my tail
Q9) What food do you get on the way home after a night out?
a. McDonald’s, because I’m uninspiring
b. Gardenia’s, so I can smoke whilst I wait
c. Food? It’s for the weak
d. Pig’s ear
Q10) Are you legally allowed entry into Lola Lo’s?
Mostly (A) You’re the first floor. I pity you.
Mostly (B) You’re the smoking area! I wish you a life free of horrific disease.
Mostly (C) You’re the light up dance floor (2nd floor)! Keep cutting shapes you cool bean you.
Mostly (D) You are a not any of the floors at Cambridge Lola Lo’s. You are a dog!